In this session, charisma expert and commentator Edward Brown weighs in on the impact of charisma on the celebrity marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.
Q: What impact did charisma or the lack of charisma have on the marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries?
A: Essentially, charisma is a way of gaining power and influence within interpersonal relationships. If you notice, Kim controlled the imagery, dialogue, and direction of the wedding from day one. Kris was a pawn in the power game from the beginning. Had he been more influential and persuasive through charisma, they would be together now.
Q: So, how could Kris have been more powerful?
A: First, he should have been aware of the motivation that drives Kim. She essentially is like actor George Hamilton, famous for being famous. If fame is her driving force, the two could have built a dual entertainment brand like Beyoncé and Jay-Z. Instead, he misread his role in Kim’s marketing machine and thought love would be a saving grace. He married for love, she married for headlines. Second, Kris let Kim dominate the dialogue. The person with the bigger microphone and stronger personality controls the direction and momentum of the relationship. He should have dominated interviews, acted like he had second thoughts to gain leverage, and become emotionally detached about the event.
Q: Interesting. Many would say that love and marriage should have less gamesmanship involved?
A: We have to review and rethink what marriage means in contemporary society. Actor Will Smith said that he and wife Jada got married to create a family-run entertainment empire. Will said they needed something bigger than love and physical attraction to build a marriage on. Their children, Jaden and Willow, are entertainers because of the Will and Jada entertainment machine. People are redefining what marriage means today. As a NBA basketball player, Kris is not a Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, or Blake Griffin. The biggest value to Kim’s marketing machine is Kris’ affiliation with the NBA. Had Kris understood the larger picture, he could have been to Kim what NBA basketball star Tony Parker was to actress Eva Langoria; the merging of two entertainment brands.
Q: Okay. So Kris blew the opportunity because he didn’t understand the game. What should he do now?
A: The best marketing for a non-charismatic man is the connection to a beautiful woman. Kris will be forever linked with Kim, which will allow him access to the world of eligible starlets. Moving forward, he should never again operate from a position of weakness. He should learn to be more witty, self-promoting, and realistic about how the world operates. Real love still exists, but in a media generated society, love is used as a mere storyline to a continuous movie. Kris got married to Kim for love. In the future, love should be in conjunction with a more compelling reason to be married. Today, you are as a powerful as the impact you make on the world stage and as enduring as your ability to leverage opportunities.
Related: Charisma
What do you think?
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
Charisma & The Single Man
Dear Mr. Brown:
I recently had a spirited discussion with my boyfriend about a man we know that can be best described as good-looking, educated and charismatic. Over the years, Chad (not his real name) has dated many women, but has repeatedly claimed to have not met the right woman to marry. How is it possible for a man to have so much going on, but can’t find the woman of his dreams?
Janice McArthur
New York, NY
Dear Ms. McArthur:
For a minute, I thought you were talking about me. (Just kidding). I am firm believer that if a man wants to be married, he will be married. It has been often said that women control who has sex, but men control who gets married. Women, who ask men why they are still single, view marriage through their own eyes, not the eyes of men. Earlier this year, I watched an episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show about a woman who married a man sentenced to life in prison without any chance of parole. I sat there wondering what could a convicted man, serving a life sentence, say to a woman that would make her say “I do” to that man in marriage. If a convicted man could find a wife given his limited choices, why couldn’t a single, free, handsome, educated, and charismatic man not find a wife if he was truly looking for one?
I suggest that men who are handsome, educated, and charismatic want the freedom that goes along with being single and free. Chad is not looking for marriage, because whatever a potential wife is willing to offer him, there are countless women willing to do the same without the necessity of marriage. Many contemporary men, while valuing the institution of marriage as a concept, do not see the long-terms value of marriage unless children are involved. If Chad is over 40 years of age, he has run the gamut of women. Some women were marriage material and others were mere opportunities to have fun. Do not ever believe a heterosexual man who says he cannot find a woman to marry. It is a ploy to throw you off his real intentions, which is to remain single and free until there is no more value in it. Once the bloom begins to diminish from his rose, he’ll seek and find a wife. On the upside, she will be getting a man who is more settled and wiser due to age. On the downside, he is giving her a diminished version of his past self, which he would never have shared when he was at his best.
Related: Charisma
I recently had a spirited discussion with my boyfriend about a man we know that can be best described as good-looking, educated and charismatic. Over the years, Chad (not his real name) has dated many women, but has repeatedly claimed to have not met the right woman to marry. How is it possible for a man to have so much going on, but can’t find the woman of his dreams?
Janice McArthur
New York, NY
Dear Ms. McArthur:
For a minute, I thought you were talking about me. (Just kidding). I am firm believer that if a man wants to be married, he will be married. It has been often said that women control who has sex, but men control who gets married. Women, who ask men why they are still single, view marriage through their own eyes, not the eyes of men. Earlier this year, I watched an episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show about a woman who married a man sentenced to life in prison without any chance of parole. I sat there wondering what could a convicted man, serving a life sentence, say to a woman that would make her say “I do” to that man in marriage. If a convicted man could find a wife given his limited choices, why couldn’t a single, free, handsome, educated, and charismatic man not find a wife if he was truly looking for one?
I suggest that men who are handsome, educated, and charismatic want the freedom that goes along with being single and free. Chad is not looking for marriage, because whatever a potential wife is willing to offer him, there are countless women willing to do the same without the necessity of marriage. Many contemporary men, while valuing the institution of marriage as a concept, do not see the long-terms value of marriage unless children are involved. If Chad is over 40 years of age, he has run the gamut of women. Some women were marriage material and others were mere opportunities to have fun. Do not ever believe a heterosexual man who says he cannot find a woman to marry. It is a ploy to throw you off his real intentions, which is to remain single and free until there is no more value in it. Once the bloom begins to diminish from his rose, he’ll seek and find a wife. On the upside, she will be getting a man who is more settled and wiser due to age. On the downside, he is giving her a diminished version of his past self, which he would never have shared when he was at his best.
Related: Charisma
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
The Art of Selfishness
1. Conditioning yourself to take as much as you give
If someone tells you that they only want the best for you without a personal agenda attached within the proposal, walk in the other direction. Generally, people look into most situations with a "What's in it for me" mentality. Whether it's love, family or job, people want to gain from the situations they experience. The object for achieving success is not to take so much so as to hurt the next person. It is understood that we will take what we need, but we should leave enough for the other party or risk creating an enemy.
2. Realizing that you are the center of your universe
You see the world and everything in it from your vantage point! Consequently, your world revolves around your viewpoints and perspectives. Your experiences, beliefs and environment help define your reality. Since your world can only change by expanding your level of awareness, it behooves you to do so. By reading, traveling and living vicariously through others experiences, your universe expands, so as not to be totally consumed by your individual "finite" world. By expanding yourself, the residual effect extends to the world.
3. Being accountable to your commitments . Whether you are entering a marital or business contract, you can never become "one" with the contractor. In the agreement, you still bring your worldview as the other party brings theirs. As such, you may agree on the terms in the hopes that all parties will abide by their commitments, but nothing is guaranteed with people naturally acting in their own interest. At best, we must compile all the facts insuring that it "feels" right with our sensibilities in upholding our agreements. The best deal is one where both parties feel that their interests were served!
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