Did Kim Kardashian Leave Kris Humphries Because He Lacked Charisma?

In this session, charisma expert and commentator Edward Brown weighs in on the impact of charisma on the celebrity marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.

Q: What impact did charisma or the lack of charisma have on the marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries?

A: Essentially, charisma is a way of gaining power and influence within interpersonal relationships. If you notice, Kim controlled the imagery, dialogue, and direction of the wedding from day one. Kris was a pawn in the power game from the beginning. Had he been more influential and persuasive through charisma, they would be together now.

Q: So, how could Kris have been more powerful?

A: First, he should have been aware of the motivation that drives Kim. She essentially is like actor George Hamilton, famous for being famous. If fame is her driving force, the two could have built a dual entertainment brand like Beyoncé and Jay-Z. Instead, he misread his role in Kim’s marketing machine and thought love would be a saving grace. He married for love, she married for headlines. Second, Kris let Kim dominate the dialogue. The person with the bigger microphone and stronger personality controls the direction and momentum of the relationship. He should have dominated interviews, acted like he had second thoughts to gain leverage, and become emotionally detached about the event.

Q: Interesting. Many would say that love and marriage should have less gamesmanship involved?

A: We have to review and rethink what marriage means in contemporary society. Actor Will Smith said that he and wife Jada got married to create a family-run entertainment empire. Will said they needed something bigger than love and physical attraction to build a marriage on. Their children, Jaden and Willow, are entertainers because of the Will and Jada entertainment machine. People are redefining what marriage means today. As a NBA basketball player, Kris is not a Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, or Blake Griffin. The biggest value to Kim’s marketing machine is Kris’ affiliation with the NBA. Had Kris understood the larger picture, he could have been to Kim what NBA basketball star Tony Parker was to actress Eva Langoria; the merging of two entertainment brands.

Q: Okay. So Kris blew the opportunity because he didn’t understand the game. What should he do now?

A: The best marketing for a non-charismatic man is the connection to a beautiful woman. Kris will be forever linked with Kim, which will allow him access to the world of eligible starlets. Moving forward, he should never again operate from a position of weakness. He should learn to be more witty, self-promoting, and realistic about how the world operates. Real love still exists, but in a media generated society, love is used as a mere storyline to a continuous movie. Kris got married to Kim for love. In the future, love should be in conjunction with a more compelling reason to be married. Today, you are as a powerful as the impact you make on the world stage and as enduring as your ability to leverage opportunities.



Related: Charisma


What do you think?

Charisma & the Virtue of Selfishness

Dear Mr. Brown:

I either read or saw a video where you promoted the importance of being selfish to acheive success. How do you reconcile people being selfish and charismatic at the same time? Is this an oxymoron?

Theresa Wildenmore
Salt Lake City, Utah


Dear Ms. Wildenmore:

Thank you for your inquiry. Yes, I have talked about being selfish to achieve personal and professional goals. Unfortunately, people connote selfishness as a negative term. Researching the lives of acclaimed individuals from Alexander the Great to Barack Obama has led me to believe that raw, unadulterated ambition by men labeled charismatic is steeped in selfishness. Reportedly, basketball great Michael Jordan said you had to be selfish to achieve greatness, but become less selfish as one achieved their goals. I am not sure how that is done authentically. Microsoft’s Bill Gates was ruthlessly selfish and ambition according to various reports. However, his philanthropic initiatives are unparalleled on the world stage. Does Gates give to worthy causes because he has achieved his aspirations and can afford to do so? Or is his giving a ploy to encourage people to buy and support Microsoft products? We can only speculate.

However, I believe that you can do good and well simultaneously. Being selfish only crystallizes what your intentions are. Once you are clear about your objectives, you can align everything in your life with your ultimate goals. Historically, this is how great feats have been accomplished.

The fundamental factor that makes charismatic people so successful is the keen insight into what they are after as well as a clear understanding of human nature to get there.

Everyone has to decide for themselves what is important and what they can tolerate. To date, if I had made different decisions in life, I could not enjoy the life that I have pursued. It came with setbacks, relentlessness, and yes selfishness. I knew of no other way to effectively perform and the selfishness of other people would have destroyed me.

Edward Brown
Core Edge Image & Charisma Institute

Charisma, Power & Control

Dear Mr. Brown/Core Edge:

I have read your previous blogs and viewed your You Tube videos on charisma where you focus a great deal of attention on charismatic individuals needing power and control. I’m not sure I totally agree with your philosophy about charismatic people needing the level of power and control you suggest. I would go as far as to say that people like Hitler, Gadhafi and maybe even Fidel Castro may fit this mode, but I personally know charismatic people who appear not to be driven by power. Do you think you have overly generalized in your analysis?

Saul Goldberg
Buffalo, NY


Dear Mr. Goldberg:

Thank you for your insightful observations. When discussing the needs and behavior of charismatic individuals, I tend to look at historical and present day figures qualitatively to assess their paradigms and psychodynamics for pattern formulation. Obviously, charismatic individuals are different in personality as well as overall demeanor, but they do share common traits unique within themselves. For example, basketball great, Michael Jordan had the same cut-throat and relentless desire for power within basketball as Adolph Hitler had for conquering Europe and the world. The colorful stuntman Evel Knievel had the same intensity and drive as the founding father and first Secretary of the Treasury for the United States, Alexander Hamilton. To pierce the veil of what these charismatic individuals were driven by surpasses the conventional thinking of the average citizen. It is easy to confuse charismatic behavioral traits with the genuine charismatic personality. Basketball player Kobe Bryant mimics the skills of Michael Jordan to portray a relentless, charismatic player on the basketball court. However, Kobe Bryant would not be described as charismatic. Individuals may mimic the behavior of charismatic personalities, but not genuinely be charismatic. The manifestation of charismatic traits is different than the inner workings of the charismatic mind. Kobe Bryant is relentless, but does not come from the same core as Michael Jordan. The same would be true of R&B singer Usher versus Michael Jackson or even boxing great Sugar Ray Leonard versus Muhammad Ali. The core of Jordan, Jackson and Ali was to self-actualize or become all they could be within their industries. Whether the dominating effect these individuals had on their industries was motivated by a quest for power or power is a result of a dominating effect, their desire to excel at the highest heights brought about influence they used for business and political interests. To this extent, they were conquerors not unlike Alexander the Great or Genghis Khan.

Arguably, what people view as charisma within others is advanced interpersonal relationship skills. Michael Jordan, Evel Knievel, Michael Jackson and Muhammad Ali used personal power that transformed the industry where they reigned. Their level of power controlled the standard of which individuals afterwards would be judged. Power and control were not only internal motivators, but a means of reshaping worldviews. These charismatic individuals taught the world how to imagine and as a result, how to bring imagination into reality.

There is a huge difference between an individual who draws you in with passion, great stories and advanced oratorical skills versus one who transforms the world.

Edward Brown
Core Edge Image & Charisma Institute

For more information, visit:  Charisma

5 Ways to Enhance Your Charisma Using Historical Figures as Models

There are several ways to improve your ability to attract command and maintain success personally and professionally through the examples of historical figures.

Here are five ways to enhance your charisma through these models:

Develop a compelling plan and strategy. A major driving force for charismatic leaders is their ability to implement a plan stemming from an overarching mission. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had a compelling plan to desegregate institutions within the United States and used marketing strategies through the media, celebrities and public outcry to draw attention to his mission.

Become a voracious reader. Charismatic leaders have a preternatural desire for acquiring more and more information and knowledge. Former President Bill Clinton reportedly reads up to five books at a time.

Cultivate your speaking skills. Charismatic leaders speak with a great deal of passion, clarity and action. Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan has the ability to speak to an audience and maintain rapt attention for hours. His use of current events, controversial topics and a clear understanding of the psychodynamics of his audience make his speeches riveting and mesmerizing.

Think and act differently. Charismatic leaders dance to the beat of their own drum. Whether basketball great Michael Jordan was wearing NBA banned multicolored sneakers, sporting a bald head or flying to the basket from the foul line, he consistently demonstrated the power of thinking and acting from one’s own perspective.

Take risks. Charismatic leaders are known for taking calculated risks. The late and legendary engineer and automotive executive John DeLorean created the sports car, the DeLorean. His larger-than-life personality was equal to his ambition. Without great risks, sometimes at great cost, the name DeLorean would be among the pantheon of car designers unknown to the world, but whose designs became iconic.

For more information, visit:  Charisma

Objectifying Charisma

Why is defining "charisma" so elusive? Why do researchers make the same mistake when researching "charisma" as a concept? Why isn't more research done on the genesis of charismatic personalities? In short, rarely is charisma approached scientifically, that is psychologically using empirical data. Typically, a researcher will compile questions to a focus group or random sample asking them their views on charismatic personalities. The common responses will be pared down until a few identified traits remain. These remaining traits will be the foundational attributes given to charismatic personalities. What's wrong with this model? Nothing on the surface! A similar method is used to determine the electability of political candidates. Surprisingly, it's been reported that 800 people surveyed randomly are an accurate reading of what 300 million people are thinking. Essentially, it's a start to characterizing the potential attributes for charisma, but not what makes it work. For example, how was Elvis Presley's charisma formulated? Muhammad Ali? Michael Jordan? Muammar Quadafi? What is the thinking behind charismatic figures who revolutionize an industry through sheer personality and self-expression? Moreover, is charisma required to revolutionize an industry? Is Tiger Woods charismatic? How about the Williams Sisters in tennis? One might surmise that charisma and revolutionaries are mutually exclusive.

If traits like insecurity, ego and visions of grandeur are parts of the charismatic personality, shouldn't they be closely researched to determine its viability? How does insecurity fit into the charismatic attribute if society extols the virtue of confidence? Could societal defined traits purported to being negative actually be an essential trait for charisma? Metaphorically speaking, instead of separating the chaff from the wheat, is the chaff and wheat necessary for charismatic personalities to develop? The overly idealistic or "Polly Anna" defining of charisma won't bring more clarity, only further ambiguity. A phenomenon with such potency on the world stage should not be fraught with so much ambiguity.

For more information, visit: Charisma

Charisma & Fortitude

Basketball great Michael Jordan was not the Adonis of his neighborhood and as history has related, was largely underestimated and counted out as a basketball player. But, his personal charisma and thus his stature transcended the game of basketball.

President Bill Clinton came from an abusive and alcoholic family and wasn't seen as having a compelling nor awe-inspiring personality. In fact, he was marginalized during his college days at Georgetown University as being a "glad hander" willing to extend to the good graces of others without compunction.

While charismatics are often credited for demonstrating great confidence, what seems to be a part of their makeup is that many had earlier experiences of pain and degradation. By pulling themselves from the labyrinth of despair, they were able to reinvent themselves and thus develop an abundance of internal fortitude.

While great pain and despair may not be the sine qua non of becoming charismatic, it appears to be a catalyst for great charisma in many individuals. Such notion relate to the charismatic as a reformer or innovator. As a result of the painful experiences, he seeks to transform the world according to his personal vision as the proving ground for what should be the status quo. He relentlessly pursues a course to bringing this idea to realization, not necessarily out of the joy of being self-possessed, but by the pain of being disconnected. It is the connecting with his ideals that bare the fruits of the charismatic personality. The charismatic uses sheer will and determination with the objective always in the forefront of his mind to complete the mission with people serving as a residual source.

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