Edward
Brown, M.S.
Dictionary.com
defines Insecurity as a “Lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt.” Some
synonyms include instability, precariousness, shakiness and vulnerability.
Insecurity is the feeling that you lack control and confidence in your outlook
and position in life. You have a weak and shaky foundation in which you operate
and anyone can cause emotional and psychological disruption. On some level, we all wrestle with
insecurity. Just think of a time when you felt good about completing a project.
You spent hours tweaking and perfecting it. In your imagination, you envisioned
people marveling at your creativity. Then you showed your crown jewel to a
loved one or co-worker. With a look of disapproval and confusion, they
sheepishly said,” Oh, that’s nice.” At that moment, all you wanted to do was
crawl under a rock. You vowed never to create anything ever again. Guess what?
You didn’t. These moments where insecurity got the best of you can be
proportional to the degree that you exercise self-discipline. After all, if no
one cares about trying new things, why should you? And it is painful to be
ridiculed by friends, loved ones and strangers.
By
thinking in these terms, you are actually being rational. Who wants to be
ridiculed for being creative and taking chances? However, what is the personal
cost for happiness over a lifetime when you are driven by your insecurities?
And what impact does self-discipline have over insecurities?
The
road that most people take is to allow insecurity to impact their lives
negatively. By being progressively selfish, you can not only develop greater
self-discipline, but also build a life of happiness. Progressive selfishness is
the notion that you act predominately in your self-interest as a mode of
behavior and as a means of achieving goals that benefit you and society.
Conversely, regressive selfishness is the notion that for you to win someone
has to lose. With regressive selfishness, the other person not only has to
lose, but also must be humiliated and annihilated.
There
are a few ways to use your insecurities to build your self-discipline to become
happier and successful through progressive selfishness.
Here
are a few ways to start the process.
Use
your insecurities as a catalyst for success. Psychologists postulate that
people are motivated more by the loss of something over its gain. Consequently,
fear can be a motivator. Your fear of ridicule, shame, failure or solitude can
actually move you to do phenomenal things. It has been suggested that President
John F. Kennedy was viewed by his father and people who knew him as a youth as
wayward and unfocused. His brother Joseph P. Kennedy, Jr. was seen as having
the greatest promise among the Kennedy family.
After Joseph was killed in World War II, John became the person anointed
to position the family within politics.
A great deal of Kennedy’s motivation came from a desire to please his
father (Joseph P. Kennedy, Sr.) as well as prove to the world that he could
make a contribution. Use and overcome
your insecurities as a means of showing the world your true value. Although you
may experience degrees of setback and failure, your self-confidence will grow
as you develop the self-discipline to follow through on projects. The major
difference between success and failure is the ability to keep plugging away at
a problem until there is a breakthrough.
Begin
with a general interest and whittle it down. For 60-plus years, experts in the
field of motivation and peak performance have regaled the importance of
passion. At its core, passion is the
emotional energy that pushes action forward. If passion were part of a car, it
would be the engine. Once you fuel passion with action, it moves you closer to
your goals. However, as you are moving, you will find your concentration
getting more specific. You might start with a passion for baking desserts. Then
your passion may whittle down to baking just cakes. And finally, only baking
chocolate cakes. In this vein, as you develop self-discipline in your area of
expertise, you start experimenting with different types of chocolate.
Generally, the whittling down process leads you to the core of your motivation.
The more specific you become, the more expertise you gain. This expertise
builds confidence and acclaim.
Commit
to the self-discipline process. Self-confidence is merely a record of successful
achievements. Winners who have overcome life’s obstacles have gained a
self-assuredness derived from a string of successes. Action and follow through
is the core to achieving influence and distinction. Whether it’s weight loss,
business development or educational plans, the ability to stay the course,
learning and growing along the way, is the key to success and happiness. You
must love the process from the passion you possess to stay motivated. Always do
what’s necessary at the time it should be done. And don’t delegate or pass the
responsibility on to someone else. Self-discipline is a skill. If you delegate
your responsibilities to someone else, the other person will become the expert
with great self-confidence. That is how someone willing to do the work that you
will not steals your ideas.
Now
you know the secret to turning your insecurities into success through
self-discipline. You must create a mission to show the world your value, find a
passion, whittle it down to its infinitesimal parts, and stay the course by
sticking to the process. In the end, you will not only have developed
self-discipline and self-confidence, you will have created a new life.
Secrets to Extraordinary Self-Discipline, by clicking: Get Me Started Now!
Edward Brown, M.S., is a content marketer and applied researcher
for Core Edge Image &
Charisma Institute, Inc., which develops educational digital products for corporations and law
enforcement agencies. He has advanced legal training from the University of Dayton
School of Law and a master’s degree from Mercer University in Leadership Development.
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