Tuesday, November 18, 2008

It Takes Power and Charisma To Woo Women

Women have become more assertive in their personal and professional lives. And while men enjoy the economic incentive of not being required to bring home all the "bacon" (money), men seem to trail women's advancement to a fault.

As a man, like charisma, it's not about "doing" as about "being." The immutable laws that rule the universe are based on strengths and weaknesses. The battle for gender equality broken down to its infinitesimal form was a battle of economic power, which translates into social and personal power. When men no longer controlled the purse strings solely, women asserted more power over relationships, including kicking the man out of bed if he wasn't satisfying her properly. Was the man emasculated by her newfound power? Of course he was! In a civilized society, the only way you can control another person, outside of sanctions against economic opportunities, is to dominate them physically. Since the Civil Rights Movement demonstrated the fallacy of brutalizing a people seeking economic and social equality, it wouldn't work as a strategy against women seeking similar outcomes (and for the record, shouldn't be part of a thought process).

So what has come out of all this advancement for women? Confusion within both genders! There are a cadre of women who want men to take the lead, not by sheer physical force of strength, but by force of intellect and personality. In fact, there are a lot of women who'd give up competing in corporate America, if they could find a man they trusted to be a husband, provider and responsible mate. Men created the independent woman by emotional and physical betrayal.

A man's advanced social and intellectual conditioning towards interdependency with women is the means of balancing the scale. You can't merely do "some" of the preparing and planning to gain the woman's affection and respect, you have to have a strong constitution about how you operate on the world stage. By setting the stage in the initial conversations in suggesting you are in total control of your life and where you want to go, you lay the foundation to where the relationship is going. You don't vacillate and appear confused about your direction. Women are steeped in security--physical and emotional. When you demonstrate a track record of making sound decisions, she will share her assertive power with you. She may be a lion in the workforce, but a kitten in your castle. She's not going to decode for you what all she wants. Sometimes she doesn't even know. By reflecting on past relationships and studying human nature, you began to study behavior patterns to determine its genesis as well as its remedy for progression. The power for gaining the respect and love of powerful women is metaphysical and intellectual. The way to a woman's heart is through her mind. Power is neutral and as Sir Isaac Newton postulated is "Neither lost nor destroyed, but merely transferred from one state to another" (My quotations). Many will argue it's not about power. I say it's all about power! Abolitionist, Frederick Douglas once said, "Power concedes only to power, always did and always will." I have found this statement to be true and live by its tenets.

1 comment:

Kids Under Construction said...

I agree with your analysis of the man vs. woman perspective in a relationship, however, I believe the dynamics have changed so much over the last say 10 year neither party knows what they want anymore. Men express a desire to have a woman that attends to his needs and wants but when that woman is brought into his life it is still not enough. Women in turn feel as though they need to take control in a relationship and they are not satisfied either because they are just not wired to handle everything and still be happy. Resentment builds and it ends badly.

Frankly, I no longer believe men are able to express their true feelings to the woman in their life. People just don't trust one another any more and therefore true love is missed.